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Welcome to Sporks are Useless! A blog of random, useless, spork-like spam spontaneously posted by 2 authors, Hikari and Dancing Toast, twin girls with no lives, cranky and sarcastic attitudes, chaotically insane minds, and occasional violent mood swings. We will be responsible for making your visit to XXYYZ-I as frightening entertaining as possible.
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See you on the dark side of the moon!
~The Sporks Team, Hikari and DancingToast

Friday, October 29, 2010

Halloween is near!

Seriously, I don't even know why I'm posting 2 posts in one day. Maybe it's because I'm a loser.

Anyway, Halloween is coming, and you know what that means! Candy and costumes! Sounds fun, right?
Wrong. I don't really like Halloween. I like the free candy, I like the no-curfew, I like gallivanting around with friends, I like exchanging candy with friends (and going to their neighborhoods to trick-or-treat because my neighborhood is foreboding during Halloween), but it's just not good enough. Sorry if I've offended anyone, but I have a different opinion. If you don't want my opinion to affect you, you don't have to read this post.
First of all, I live in Florida. In Florida, it's hot all year, which may seem like paradise to snowbirds, but they soon find out it's not. Because in Florida, on top of it being hot (not warm, but HOT!), there's so much humidity, all the girls actually have to worry about their straightened hair curling in the middle of the day. And it's not comfortable to sweat in thin layers of sweat rather than in drops. Also, Florida + Fall/Autumn= Hot and Humid with a 100.1% chance of rain. Running around in heavy costumes for 2+ hours in that kind of weather... you get the idea.
Second of all, I live with Asian parents. They're cheap, and I can't sew, so I have to try to construct some sort of lame "costume." All the nice costumes are too hot to wear in the aforementioned hot weather. Maybe I should be a tombstone, like what Older Sister was last year.
Thirdly, I have to walk around in that hot weather for 2 (and most likely more) hours, so I get hungry and sweaty. I eat some cheap, gooey, non-refreshing candy to ignore my hunger for real food, and it's probably the only time I feel uncomfortable enough to feel sick eating candy. Usually, I don't feel sick eating candy at all (even when I eat a lot), and when I eat the candy to stop the hunger, it's only 1-3 pieces. And sometimes, I feel paranoid that some stranger has poisoned my candy, but there's no way of telling if it is or not. Also, after walking around for a long time for the desired amount of candy, Older Sister yells at me throughout the year that I'm weird because I hoard the candy. I'm sorry if I don't feel like eating candy often, and what if I want some, and there is none?Parents won't buy me any, so stop making me feel even weirder than I already do, Older Sister! And I don't want to stay home either, because it's boring, I feel more antisocial than I already do, my parents don't go to the door for kids because they're too lazy to open it every time a kid ding-dongs, and I want to have a variety of candy that I can't get and can only get on Halloween because my parents don't buy me candy, and no one visit our house because it's in the back of the neighborhood.
So generally, I don't like Halloween. But you don't have to share the same opinion.
Even after expressing my reasons why I don't like Halloween, I still look forward to it every year. I'm weird. Maybe I should get a therapist for my mixed feelings. I have so many, and surprisingly, blogging clears them up, so Sporkers, bear with my rantings.

2 people actually love us.:

Nicolas Lopez said...

We share common oppinions. I might be Caps Lock this year...

Sharkie said...

That's so lame, Nicolas. It's so weird calling you that. I totally agree that florida is the WORST place for halloween, i mean up in NY it's lik 50 degrees. NOT FAIR. But i still loooove dressing up. It's the only time i will wear make up because im actually TRYING to be someone else. Or something. You never know ;)