All Aboard the Fail Train! (Note to Newbies)

Welcome to Sporks are Useless! A blog of random, useless, spork-like spam spontaneously posted by 2 authors, Hikari and Dancing Toast, twin girls with no lives, cranky and sarcastic attitudes, chaotically insane minds, and occasional violent mood swings. We will be responsible for making your visit to XXYYZ-I as frightening entertaining as possible.
Enjoy your stay at Sporks Are Useless and check out the blogs we follow on our profile!
See you on the dark side of the moon!
~The Sporks Team, Hikari and DancingToast

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Grim Grinning Ghosts coming Out to Socialize

^ you wish. instead its sunshine^
No comments on toast's post? Come on, guys!
Anyways I'm not posting anything full, just saying
what will you be doing tonight?


Friday, October 23, 2009

"Where is the love?"
Useless FACT:Leonardo DiCaprio appeared on the educational children's program "Romper Room" when he was three years old.
WHERE IS THE LOVE: With all this crud happening in the world, the internet makes a huge difference. SO, everyone reading this post, EVERYONE, is to go to and i want you to answer at least 10 questions(100 grains). or as many as you have time for. Then, Comment and tell me how many grains of rice you donated and I'll calculate it at the end of the week. if you go on freerice again later on, post your results in Hikari or Toast's post. Sporks Can make a difference.
Onto less serious stuff, I want a name change. i think. Everyone now has pwnful names like bashfultoast and packagesentbyninjas, so my top choices so far are 1. Never let go 2.Ill never let go 3.Get the floorboards 4. Bravecandygirl 5. Sunshine (i can pull a mileycyrus and just change it to my nickname) I'll make a poll for this. Go vote!
I'm asking ya'll for alot of stuff, so here FUNNY info. Colors have flavor. No lie. Everyday at lunch I end up eating so much orange food that it tastes orange. i can taste the orange of my food. And orange is a really nasty colorflavor. Red is rather nice. And green is alright, but orange is just nasty. Once u eat cheese, carrots, cheetos, bread, chocolate in one meal, the orange colorflavor starts to show up in everything. So What's ur most hated colorflavor?

Monday, October 19, 2009

You think you're so special, don't you?

EDIT: HIKARI FORGOT A RANDOM FACT, SO SUNSHINE IS EDITTING THIS IN FOR HER. According to Vince Shlomi, the Germans always make good stuff. SHAMWOW
Story below.
Okay, so I was wearing my awesome sleeves I was planning to use for Halloween, but then some of the buttons fell off without me noticing. One, was sticking to my friend V's arm. I said, "V, you're a button magnet!" She just shrugs. Meanwhile, another person and my other friend, A, were throwing water bottles at the wall. No matter what, the water bottles would always go in the direction of the not-friend. "B, you're a water bottle magnet!" A notices that she is the only one that isn't a type of magnet. "Well what'm I?" asks A. "You?" Hmm... I think. "You're a gigantic mass of billions upon trillions of cells! Don't you feel special? Don't you feel special?" And all of them are just cracking up, and when A tells her sister, she can't get enough. Aahh...

Okay, so when we were on vacation, we saw a store called "hhgregg." Can anyone try to pronounce that in comments? And there was one called Osh Kosh B'Gosh. Anyone with a thing for stores, can you tell me what these weird-named stores sell? Oh! And when we were driving, we saw a sign that said ASIAN (restaurant). Like, Asian, was huge, and "restaurant" was squeezed to the bottom.

See? I promised extra Hikari-ness! Ooh, ooh! When we were watching the Titanic, when Fabrizio was killed, both Toast and I were like, "NOO!! FABRIZIOOO!!" without telling each other we would. T'was funneh...

Bye bye, Hiki-chan has to go do annoying vocab cards!
(P.S! This is Toastie. Toastie edited this post. Toastie is not gunna post, because Hiki-chan's post still didn't get any comments, SO COMMENT SO THAT SUNHINE AND I CAN POST!!!!)

Friday, October 16, 2009

Oooh Baby don't you know I suffer~

^twilight songs? anyone?^
because this is the first Friday I've actually ever done something. I went to get icecream with my friendies. I HAD A BLAST.
So we decided to use our phones to film us reenacting scenes from twilight and harry potter.
So i got to play a ladygaga voldemort and a gay edward cullen.
i got to do this spaztastic dance move throughout everything, but when playing voldemort, I didn't look behind me, so I nerdily danced right into a bush, That's right. I fell into a bush. It had thorns too. Thank god for my obsession with black pants.
Anyways this has been a slow week for sporks, And I don't really have anything to talk about because it was a relatively good day. Nickel, if you are reading this, we threw you into a fountain. Because me and Yuki wanted to make wishes at the lame-o fountain, so I didn't want to waste a quarter. So, i found a penny and a nickel. And We threw them into the fountain.
I'm sorry this post fails. But we'll do better next week. I promise.
Promise me wont give up. No matter how cold you feel. You're not gonna die here, this way, not this night.
first with twilight, then with the following: Titanic fanfiction.
I don't know what provoked me. but I'll prob be addicted to it.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009


^If you say it aloud, it sounds like "hi-llo!", which is what Muse sez.^
So yaahh, I saw the Titanic too, so I started to talk with Sunshine about it also. It's a really good movie, but I saw it on a million-year-old tape/video/thingummy-whatsit probably from when it first came out in theatres, like, 17 years ago. If anyone can find out when it came out, thank you, or as my dad wrote in a letter, "thang you!" Another request from Toastie!
Thang you former Purple-Hoodie-Chick-who-is-now-Bashful-Toast! You must've been slightly angry at me loving the Toast picture of AJ, but not showing any love to your newly acclaimed name, "Bashful Toast", and not saying yay! But here it is:"YAY!!!!♥" Lurve you all!
Random fact: HIkari and I were in vacation on Earth with no means necessary of stealing/hacking/buying/getting/sneaking into a house at night/bringing a laptop/computer to post, so Hikari had to do all of her make-up work until 11:30 pm., so she couldn't post. An apology from her: "Dude-man-dudes, so sorry!! I'll make the next time I post extra Hikari-ful! Kay-kay-kay?"
So here we were, posting! Yays!
Has a nise dae! (lolcat speake!ILY!♥)

Friday, October 9, 2009

Near, Far, Whereever sporks are~

^I believe, im obsessed with Titanic~^
RANDOM FACT!: The lady who played Moaning Myrtle is 43 now. Which means she is the oldest actress to play a Hogwarts student.
I've probably spent like 12 hours of my life watching the movie Titanic, and I went to the exhibit and I've read about it. I love the movie though. JACK LIVES ON IN MY HEART AND MY HEART WILL GO ON AND ON! But that's not the point.
If you go to google and type in sporks "Sporks are useless" is one of the suggested things. If you type in sporks_ (as in a space) The first one is sporks for sale then "Sporks are godlike" and then "Sporks are useless"
BRILLIANCE. but i want more.
I WANT THE WORLD NOTHING LESS ALL THE GLAM AND THE PRESS, ONLY GIVING ME THE BEST REVIEWS~ So tell your friends about sporks so that the search of "Sporks are godlike" can go down on the list, man,
Polishedwithdust doesn't make the list...I fail.
But thankies sporkers. SO GO CHECK OUT MY BUDDY FRIEND'S BLOG "whenindoughtdanceout.blogspot" yeah, she spelled doubt wrong. chillax.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

So yeah! I'm posting, as you can see very clearly.

So hi! This is Toastie here, fulfilling your wish of another post.
Random fact: There is a watermelon-slice-looking Popsicle that tastes like watermelon, and the seeds are chocolate. But sadly, these awesome Popsicles are only available in Japan and Korea.
Uhm, I would go on and on about a sh peal of Vocaloid videos, but not many people know about them, and as Sunshine would probably say to me, "Dude, no one cares!" and that hurts Toastie very much, much more than Toastie shows.
Requests, requests! I have a request for all of you to-hoo-dae! I wanna know how you came to read Sporks. Just comment, you don't need a whole blogger account in order to do so. Another request would have been to look up Vocaloid on Youtube, but you know, stuff...
Gah darnnit, need to do homework and a new poll.
Gotta go now, the spaghetti bunnies are noodle-painting on the wall, the toast needs to tan with butter lotion, and cream slayers are raiding my wallet for money to buy whipped cream. Ah, busy busy meh!♥

Thursday, October 1, 2009

People All Over the World, Join Hands, Start a FAIL TRAIN!

^indeed^yesterday i saw the most brilliant thing I've ever seen. But First, I must explain.
I LIKE SNUGGIES. i don't own one, but I'm just fascinated by a blanket with wholes in it. I also love shamwows and slapchops. THE COMMERCIALS ARE SUPERB (Hey it's Vince with slapchop) and they're just overall brilliant.
So along with liking slapchops and snuggies comes another thing that you just have to like. Because Shamwows and Chris Crocker just make sense. I mean they go together like shoobop showadawada yippity boom de-boom. So I was watching Hannah Montana because I was sick yesterday, and the best thing ever featured on that show occurred. Lily made a "leave Britney Alone" reference. CHRIS CROCKER! YAY. I mean seriously! I realize you guys don't care about my home bo--girl Chris so lemme move on.
MY BRILLIANT RANDOM FACT!:The word "nerd" was first coined by Dr. Seuss in "If I Ran the Zoo."
Because I'm cool like that. ILY NERDS.
ONTO CHESSBOXING. yes. You heard me. I was watching Bizarre Worlds last night and the awkwardest things came up. ONE a beer salon where you can take a bath in beer. TWO chess boxing. A sport in which every other round is either boxing or chess. I want to play.
And of coarse, all of this comes from Germany. Like Vince says in the shamwow commercial, You know the Germans always make good stuff!
chris crocker: (hes..i mean she's actually awesome)
Love Train: