All Aboard the Fail Train! (Note to Newbies)

Welcome to Sporks are Useless! A blog of random, useless, spork-like spam spontaneously posted by 2 authors, Hikari and Dancing Toast, twin girls with no lives, cranky and sarcastic attitudes, chaotically insane minds, and occasional violent mood swings. We will be responsible for making your visit to XXYYZ-I as frightening entertaining as possible.
Enjoy your stay at Sporks Are Useless and check out the blogs we follow on our profile!
See you on the dark side of the moon!
~The Sporks Team, Hikari and DancingToast

Monday, July 20, 2009

Dreams are like rainbows, only idiots chase them.

They really are.

I had many more better (aka random) ideas for a post title, but I keep forgetting them. I basically have no social inspiration...

Random info: I dislike seafood. It just has this weird taste that reminds me of the sea in meat form, in a bad way. Also, I've really always hated their little eyes. Raw seafood seems to be popular, despite the fact that you could get diseases... Slimy things like oyster/clams, crab, the fish in sushi, and even squid/octopus just kind of...don't appeal to my tastes. I have had bad experiences with lobster, too. Imagine a little girl around four years of age, watching her mother boiling a lobster live. Watching it twitch until the movement gradually, gradually stops, and the life fade from its beady black eyes. Another reason to add to my dislikes. SHRIMP. Don't get me started.
I also feel guilty that these creatures could help the environment by maintaining the natural balance of life, that these took millenia to develop into the adapters they are now.
Of course, the same could be said about chickens, pigs, cows, sheep, and turkeys, but haven't they always been eaten and taken advantage of by man and animal?

Sunday, July 19, 2009


I'm sorry I haven't posted much so far, I don't have anything funny to say.
Oh! But I has some quotes!
No man was ever wise by chance~I forgot to put who said it, or maybe it was anonymous.
We're all gonna die!!!!!!!~Lenny Bruce
(See 11,oo2 things to be MISERABLE about. It's hi-Larry-ous)
The Candy Cat caaaaan~ The Candy Cat can 'cuz she mixes it with love and makes the world taste good! And the world tastes good 'cuz the Candy Cat thinks it should!♫
It's actually supposed to be the Candy Man, but whatever.
♫Moldy pea-nuts! Moldy pea-nuts! The amazing de-com-po-ser!~~~~mleh mleh mleh.....♪
It's supposed to be Willy Wonka the amazing choclatier, but who cares?!!! I don't! ☻•_•
And there's more messed up lyrics on like Emmy the Yellow Ducky. :P Courtesy of Popsicle-chan, follower of Sporks Are Useless.
If you'd like the environment to be saved, press one. If you'd like authors on Sporks to post more, press two. If you'd like to have a monkey fling poop at you, press three. If you'd like to delete option 3 and carry out choices 1 and 2, press four. At the tone, please record your rant. After you have finished recording your rant, you may hang up or press five to get rid of this annoying voice. *bleep*

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Half Blood Prince REVIEW!!

It wasn't amazing. Which was disappointing, but it was hilarious. Jim Broadbent was awesome, and I screamed at the credits for Daniel Radcliffe (as expected).
BAD STUFF: it was too long. David Heyman could of cut some of the scenes out. Like the house burning? What's up with that, it was pointless to the plot. And, there were really NO classes at all. You never see Snape's D.A.D.A class, and for being the HBP he barely has a roll. And dumbledore's death, well he fell, and it looked too Titanic. And wihtout his funeral, it wasn't too great. The Ending sucked, and so did the beginning. It lacked alot of action. Also, when Dumbledore died, harry looked like a coward because dumbledore didn't petrificus totalus him.
GOOD STUFF: HILARIOUS! I found myself cracking up through alot of it. Rupert Grint was hilarious as Ron, yet again, and it was very witty. When there was action, the effects were done beautifully, and the inferi were actually very scary. Tom Riddle wasn't as good looking as he's said to be, but he's creepy and believable. Lavender brown was funny, too. All of the roles were played amazingly, and Draco Malfoy, taller and skinnier than ever, was still an awesome character.
OVERALL, to what i expected, not nearly as good i hoped for, but a good movie. The books are always better, but this one did well for the book. THE CREDITS WERE WICKED. ever since 3rd movie hp credits are creative and amazing.
RANDOM Q: Have you guys seen the slap-chop rap? its hilarious. go watch it. "Hey its vince with slap-chop!"


Friday, July 10, 2009

Friendship like firewood...


Friendship like firewood: You have to put effort into making it burn. The more social you are, the more "flammable" you are.

I'm back from D.C. and being too lazy to post!
D.C. was awesomely fun, but I didn't get to spend leisure time in the museums. -sniffle- I thought they were interesting.

Sorry about the extremely short post, i just don't really know what to say...
And by the way, I stole those recycle pictures from various places on the internet. Oh! And if you go to
you can find a bunch of links where you can recycle electronics for free!

(Look, I actually put some labels!)

Friday, July 3, 2009

High Expectations for the Half Blood Prince!!

Sunshine here! (note this post is long, but really easy to read. and quite random)

Last I had an awkward dream.
And NO, this was not one of those awkward dreams where I'm attacked by spiders and wake up just in time to save myself but not my friend whose also being attacked by spiders that's happened, twice!)
This dream was about Harry Potter.
So, it started off with me and a friend, lets call her B. (note, im unsure who the friend was, though I have a feeling i know, so i chose a random eltter) Me and B, B and I, were going to the movie theater for some reason, and she was super excited to go see a film. So we paid for our tickets and entered the theater to go see Startrek, So we get into the showing room, and this totally dif film starts playing, but of coarse, because its my dream, I'll automatically think i paid to see it.
It turns out, even though we paid to see Startrek, we ended up seeing Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince (we didnt realize anything)
Except this Half Blood Prince was terrible. There was some annoying old guy voice anrrating the story, and It had absolutely nothing to do with the book. And It was totally random.
And at the end, someone B disappears, and I speak to the Director of the old HP movies, but who didnt direct the Half Blood Prince. (NOTE: I DONT KNOW IF THE HBP HAS THE SAME DIRECTOR, IT WAS A DREAM) And he said "Yeah i didn't sign for the 6th one, but i think I'm gunna have to sign for the 7th" so obviously, Mr.OldDirectorMan thought the sixth sucked too.
So I;m feeling all "Oh man, I was realy excited for this." And when I wake up I'm all "Aww the HBP sucked, wait that was a dream..gah!" So i really hope that David Yates, David Heyman, David Barron do a good job with this fulm. (Note Yates and Heyman are director&producer i
think, and barronis one of the screenwrites, I just found it funny that alot of ppl r named david)


Quote of the post: "When the dark comes rising, six shall turn it back, 3 from the circle, 3 from the track. Wood Iron bronze water stone
5 will return and 1 go alone"
At least it hink thats how it goes its form THE DARK IS RISING by SUSAN COOPER