All Aboard the Fail Train! (Note to Newbies)

Welcome to Sporks are Useless! A blog of random, useless, spork-like spam spontaneously posted by 2 authors, Hikari and Dancing Toast, twin girls with no lives, cranky and sarcastic attitudes, chaotically insane minds, and occasional violent mood swings. We will be responsible for making your visit to XXYYZ-I as frightening entertaining as possible.
Enjoy your stay at Sporks Are Useless and check out the blogs we follow on our profile!
See you on the dark side of the moon!
~The Sporks Team, Hikari and DancingToast

Sunday, September 26, 2010



My mum got repairs for the old car and it runs really smoothly now, so my parents decided to keep it for a few more years! Also: the new car has tint now! I won't get skin cancer! YAAAYYY

This is a decidedly useless post.
This post is very spork-like.


"Older Sister, how many tentacles do squid have?"



I'll let you guys figure this post out because I love you all so much. ♥

Thursday, September 23, 2010


This is soooo weird.
So apparently, my neighborhood has omnivorous ducks.
A thing about my neighborhood you should probably know about: We have a huge amount of ducks. They are fed by any residents and so, the ducks follow you around, wanting food. This is bad, as they poop on our patio (our patio has no screen). So MY family stopped feeding them, but not the other residents. The ducks still follow residents, hoping for food.

A very long time ago, perhaps one month, our family bought ham for sandwiches. Since it is one month, the ham probably went bad. So today, since I was the only one wearing pants, I went outside to throw it out. Two of the neighborhood ducks waddled over, following me. I made kicking motions toward them (I still love the ducks, because they are childhood memories, and their babies are adorable!! Once, the mother duck made a nest near our house, but unfortunately, a rodent of some sort lived under our slightly uprooted tree, ate the eggs, and had strewn all the eggshells at OUR patio. The mother duck never came back.) to ward them off, since it was pig meat. Once I threw the ham out, it didn't fly far, so I could still see the ham. It sank to the bottom very slowly. One of the ducks swam out to where it sank, dipped its head below the water, and FREAKING PICKED IT UP AND ATE THE HAM!!!!!! I mean, WTF???!!!!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010



Yeah, you read that right. My childhood car, the one I've known since FOREVAR, is going to the... (gulp) car dump and is going to be given up for a new car. WHY IS THE WORLD SO CRUEL??? DD: There were so many memories!!! QAQ (sob, wail)
Toastie took a buncha pictures of the entire car, and my older sister didn't even come downstairs to bid it good bye!! She's so heartless!

If you don't want to read about suckiness, stop reading.

I'm having a sucky week, and it's only WEDNESDAY! And I have TWO tests, on a freaking Early Release Day. DX My Language Arts teacher, although she's nice and patient, gives us the STUPIDEST projects in. the. world. AUGH. DX
And how on Earth do I have a bad grade doing a freaking Drama WARM-UP? And why is my sketchbook graded a 95?? DX AUGH!

Monday, September 13, 2010

My mum is hilarious.

My mum is so nice to her children. ♥

Today, when she picked us up from the library (from Anime Club, if I may add), she saw us standing with our friends. The first thing she said to us when we got into the car was, "HikariToast (she combines our names), you guys are really SHORT."

But I guess that's a little better than what she said to our older sister when she was born. When she held Older Sister (I just realized we don't have a name for her) and said, "Wow, this baby is really ugly."

When we come home, the front door is locked, but if we know for sure that Older Sister is home, we knock on the door for many times obnoxiously until she opens it. So today, we knocked, and her friend (who is a guy) was over, and opened the door. The first thing that came out of Hikari's mouth was, "Ohai. Who are you?"
In the background, Older Sister was sitting in front of her computer. She laughed at Hikari's comment and then proceeded to say, "Get out of here, you got the wrong house!" XD

Many things happened on September 7th. For instance, Hikari got sick, and couldn't go to school. I had to. So in 6th period, our friend, let's call her J., asked me, "Why did you kill Hikari?!" And I was caught off-guard, so I said, " Uuuuhhhh, I was hungry! So I ate her." "How could you??!!! You're so mean!!!" XD
And then, when my mum and Older Sister came home, my mum raced upstairs and canceled all of her credit cards because they weren't in her purse. Turns out, she forgot them at home. After the call to the bank, she went downstairs, and my dad said, " I found them."
And :Older Sister got a Kingdom Hearts shirt. And when I came home, I found not one, but TWO dead bugs on my forehead. I think it was because I walked through a cloud of gnats while walking home. -_-;

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Nine-Eleven and boar experts

It's the last day of National Suicide Prevention Week. You're supposed to write, paint, or draw "LOVE" on your wrist as a sign of recognition. It's also the anniversary of the calamity that occurred in 2001. I was but a naive child when it happened. No memories at all.
Nine-eleven is also the emergency call number in America. I wonder if there's any significance in that.

My dad was watching the instant streaming for "Lost: Season 1" on Netflix, and he had his earphones on and said something that sounded like "Boar experts." So then I started to imagine things, like if I were ever a flight attendant, I would be amazed at all the different sorts of people that went on the plane. "Like that guy over there... He might be a boar expert." Or other scenarios in which you might meet a boar expert. I dunno. I'm sleepy.

I've been sick the past few days, though I think I'm better. It's random, these fits of fever.
I still needa write about the Potter Park. Remind me later.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010


The title has no relevance to the content of this post.

1. Are you happier now than you were five months ago?
No. Five months ago was the starting of SUMMER VACATION. Need I say more?

2. Have you ever slept in the same bed with anyone that you shouldn't have? No. I've only ever slept in the same bed as my sister. Oh, and friends at sleepovers.

3. Can you sleep in total darkness? That's usually how I sleep. When I turn on the night light, I can't even close my eyes.

4. Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for, the one who got away, what do you say?
"Why are you calling?"

5. What do you think about the weather this summer?
Rainy and hot. I don't mind rain, but I hate the heat.

6. How many people do you trust with everything?
One person. Myself. Not even Toastie.

7. What was the last thing you drank?
Water. I'm sick.

8. Is there anyone you want to come see you?
When do I not want someone to come see me?

9. Name one thing you love about winter?
Snow (even though it doesn't snow here), hot chocolate. Mostly the weather. Nice and cold. :)

10. Have you ever dated a Goth?Have I ever dated anyone?

11. What are you looking forward to tomorrow?
No school! Rosh Hashana. Man, do I love Jews. Their holidays always give us days off. :D

12. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having?
Well, I'm sick. It's not very comfortable, I can assure you.

13. What's the longest that you have committed to one person and one person only?
Do you mean romantically? If so, absolutely no time at all. I've never had a romantic relationship. If not, then, my entire life. Toastie is my twin, for Pete's sake.

14. What’s the first thing you did when you opened your eyes today?
I got up and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. Do you expect me to like, jump up and down screaming?

15. Has anyone ever told you they never want to ever lose you?

16. Is there anybody that you wish you could fix your relationship with?
Never had a relationship.

17. Could you go out in public, looking like you do now?
No. I'm not wearing a bra. Plus, my shorts are PJ shorts; they're embarrassingly short and have flowers all over them. The person across my street goes to my school. I don't think so.

18. Do you think things will change in the next 3 months?
Probably. But your question is too vague. If by "things" you mean my own life, yes. My parents may buy a new car within the next month. If by "things" you mean technology, yes to that as well. Technology is always advancing. If by "things" you mean the environment, yes. We humans are always finding ever-imaginative ways to kill everything around us. If by "things" you mean the fact that I have to go to Kumon, no. That won't change in three months.

19. Do you believe that you never know what you got until you lose it?
I can say I appreciate things that most people overlook, but your question is yet again too vague.

20. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
Yeah. Mr. Ticket Clerk.

21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?
Ew. School.

22. Describe your accent:
I have no accent. I speak normal American English. Except I pronounce "won" like it rhymes with "Ron". A lot of people say "won" like it's a homonym of "one". It's a very small thing.

23. If you could change anything about yourself, would you?
Definitely. Infinitely many things.

24. What do you wear to sleep?
An old t-shirt and underwear.

25. When was the last time you were in a very good mood? What caused it?
Uhhh....... Too lazy to try to remember.

I will post about The Wizarding World of Harry Potter later! I'm too lazy right now.

Friday, September 3, 2010

History has been made!

Four days ago, August 30th, 2010, history was indeed made.
In my life, anyway.

It started with a book. A book by Mitch Albom, (an author whose books you should really read, if I may add), named, For One More Day. It is an amazing book that was so touchiing, it actually made me CRY.
For the first time in my life, a book made me cry. Usually that never happens to me. Not even during Where the Red Fern Grows. That was the very first time a book has ever made me cry. Not a snot-sweat-and-tears cry, mind you, but enough for tears to fall from my eyes.

And that is the history that was made.